parents

parents

The Right of Children to the Marriage of their Parents

children, marriage, parents, rights of children 3 comments

The right of children to the marriage of their parents is foundational to religious practice and to strong cultures.

This much-neglected right of children is critical to the future of nations.  It is a natural right, not a politically conferred right. It arises from the order of nature. It rests on justice, for without their parents’ marriage children are condemned by them to a lesser life. Parents are also condemning themselves, at minimum, to lifelong guilt.

When acculturated the effect of this life is to increase chastity and marriage among young people, reduce (almost eliminate) out of wedlock births, reduce abortion rates massively, and similarly reduce divorce rates among parents.

Aside from the love of God I can think of no other phenomenon that can deliver such powerful consequences.  The child draws our better natures forth from within us.  In every aspect of our lives, the child can transform our potential into reality.   The child even causes adults to turn (or return) to God.

But this right now gets universal silent treatment.  In public discourse, it is absent. In rights discourse, it is absent.  In the classrooms of universities, law schools, high schools, middle schools and even of seminaries it is absent.  Most debilitating of all, it is absent in churches, synagogues and mosques.

But we all need it. Every baby born needs it to thrive.  Every teenager needs it to help motivate sexual control; every dating couple needs it so that they can freely cross the winning line of marriage; every married couple tempted by divorce needs it, so that they repair their marriage and grow in the strength needed to be lifelong spouses.  Children make adults of their parents.  They draw them out of themselves and on to heights of virtue they would not attempt without their children.

The nation’s future needs it because in its absence it is growing citizens without chests.

It is a right that cannot be enforced by government directly, for marriage must be freely chosen.  Therefore the institutions of religion, family and education must be to the fore in teaching and thus “enforcing” this right.

Slowly and steadily, the nations with such a culture will survive and thrive. Those without it will wilt, be overcome and disappear.

It is powerful in its consequences. It is foundational natural law, and reminds me my high school headmaster’s favorite quote: “The wheels of God grind slowly but they grind exceeding small.” Or as Richard Feynman put it:  “Nature cannot be fooled.”

 

Millennials: a Dilemma for Social Conservatives

chastity, child well-being, commitment, community, family, fathers, happiness, intact family, monogamy, mothers, parents 1 comment
Society is a network of relationships between its citizens. Each citizen’s capacity to relate to others increases or decreases the social cohesiveness and strength of a nation, and each one of those individual citizens’ capacities to relate has been significantly shaped by the family which formed them. As any family therapist will tell you, these family relationships, in turn, are significantly tied to the relationship between the father and mother of that family. As their marital relationship goes, so goes the intra-psychic strength and the social capacity of their children. The marital relationship changes everything in the family. Multiplied a hundred million times in the U.S., it has a massively compounding effect on society—for strength or weakness.

Thus, the relationship between the mother and father figures in a family is the most foundational relationship in society, the “DNA” that influences all the relationships that emanate from it. How the shopkeeper responds to his customers, or the professor to her students, is often quite tied to how they experienced their parents’ marriage. When a marriage breaks apart, it affects a child’s behavior and relational capacity. When a parental relationship is never transformed into marriage (e.g, in out-of-wedlock births or cohabiting households that break up) it alters the child’s social capacity.

Thus, the future of society is structured by the social ordering of this primary sexual relationship. That is the heart of the culture wars.

Change the DNA of the body, and you change the body by altering its whole functioning process. Alter the sexual relationship, and you alter everything else. Political philosophers are very aware of this. Marx and Engels saw this as absolutely necessary for their massive project: the permanent altering of society along the lines of their utopian dream.

Others see this connection even if they do not desire the same outcome as did Marx and Engels. Most bright Millennials understand it. They see that society has to pay a certain price for the sexual choices permitted to them today —choices that were not sanctioned in times past. They will even admit and accept that the innocent children of these sexual acts will have to pay the price. Many are prepared to see such prices paid, and therein lies the dilemma.

Marx and Engels wanted this sexual restructuring; many Millennials accept it. Though Millennials are certainly not all Marxists, it hardly matters: In the cultural and political contest of the day, they will stand aside and let the coercive liberal state march forward in the direction laid out by Marx and Engels.

Are we doomed to some form of coercive Marxist state as our future because of the sexual choices many in our society treasure? Other than widespread religious conversion, I do not see much potential for change in the right direction; hence, I invite your comments. Is religious conversion the only route?

Valuing Two-Parent Homes: a Cultural Shift?

MARRI, marriage, parents, Polls, single parents, values 1 comment

By: Patrick Fagan, MARRI Senior Fellow
      Avery Pettway, MARRI Intern

On March 14, Rasmussen gave us very bad news that no one has picked up on.  It published results from its poll which asked American adults a fundamental question:  how important is it for children to grow up in a home with both of their parents – Very important; Somewhat important; Not very important; or Not at all important?  Sixty-two percent of respondents ranked it Very Important.  This data may seem encouraging considering the socio-political warzone we occupy in the United States.  However, the responses are startling when compared to those from June 2010.  Four years ago, the same question produced 80% of Very Important responses, a markedly higher percentage.  An almost 20 percent drop is a massive drop in this short period.

We expect opinions and beliefs to morph and shift as time progresses—America is certainly in a state of flux in the 21st century. Assuming the data is correct (but it needs to be replicated to be sure), such drastic change rings alarm bells for children and the nation. It means more adults think that children don’t need what is basic justice—the care of both their parents who brought them into existence.  We already have a big national problem when most of our children grow up in their home without both parents.  We have an even bigger problem if more adults begin to think this is OK.

There is no greater indicator of a culture in decline than more and more parents being unwilling to raise the children they brought into existence…the future of the nation.  This is a downward trajectory if ever there was one.

Common sense is clear: children thrive on love and commitment.  Family and marriage intactness is the great demonstration of love and commitment.   Some say: “But I have fallen out of love.  I need to move on.”  Balderdash.  I say: “You have just arrived at the point of real love.  Push through this malaise.  Where there is no felt love, give love and you will find it again.”  Love is giving, not getting.  And no parent has the right, before God or before man, to leave his or her children.  Each child has the obvious, fundamental right to the love and attention of both his parents, of both his parents together. Without “together-love” that child will not reach his or her potential.  And as we have demonstrated from recent federal data and as common sense tells us, it is the most important factor in achieving the personal and social well-being that we claim to want in the United States, and on which we spend billions annually.

A nation that gives up on its children is not fit to be a leader among nations.  How can any outside nation look at such a country and call it great?  If it has gone so soft that it cannot even “put out” for its children, do you think they expect us to “put out” for them?  I suspect that we as a nation have lost confidence in ourselves.  We know we are not worthy because we have given up on our children and that feeling became palpable when the majority of our children were no longer raised by both their parents.

Here is a question for millennials, the “present future” of our country:  “Are you willing to sacrifice your own comfort and happiness (should it come to that) for the children you will bring into existence?”  If they overwhelmingly say “yes” and intend to stay together through thick and thin, “for better or for worse,” then the United States may be a great nation in a decade or two. But if they go the way we are drifting, then we can “Kiss America Goodbye,” excepting the hope of a real Fourth Awakening based on repentance for sins against our children.

Do you think the Taliban or Al Queda are afraid of folk who will give up on their children?  Do you think Putin is?  Do you think China is?

I hope Rasmussen polls our future parents to see if we are really going downwards or if there is better news on the horizon.  For the children’s sake, let us hope so—and for the sake of freedom, not only across the world but even here at home.